Where Is Your Heart? The Journey from Memory to Identity

Where Is Your Heart? The Journey from Memory to Identity.

Growing up, I was told many times that life is hard. From childhood, I heard it constantly: work hard, relationships are hard. It went so far that even God was hard. It was repeated so often that it became my blueprint. I felt vulnerability and fear around it, and my identity became “I am not enough.” My question was: how could I be enough when even God is hard on us?

As a young adult, every attempt was met with fear and a constant inner battle: I think I can... but how? Maybe... or why even try, when it’s going to be so hard? Wishful thinking became the norm.

Every new situation or decision had to pass through this blueprint of “life is hard.” Fear would creep in, and my gut would fill with anxiety. I would run to anything that let me escape having to change, or having to take the steps that would improve my life.

Then pain became the alarm. Pain in my finances, pain in my body, pain in my relationships grew and grew until I had to take notice. Taking notice was the turning point. I started peeking outside my blueprint. I shifted from “life is hard” to a new question: “Why does it seem easier for others?” That second question made me aware that I had to change the blueprint I had been carrying for my life.

Step 1: Head (repetition becomes the reference)

• Science: Neuroscientists say “neurons that fire together, wire together.” What repeats gets wired in, and the brain uses it to predict.

• Word root: memoria means “mindful.” We hold in mind what we repeat.

Step 2: Heart (repetition becomes emotion)

• Science: The brain tags repeated, meaningful experiences with emotion, and the heart’s signals shape how strongly we feel them, as in the fear study.

• Spiritual: Hay, Myss and Dahlke all treat the heart as where joy, love and forgiveness are held.

Step 3: Gut (emotion becomes identity)

• Science: Emotions shift digestion between “fight or flight” and “rest and digest.” The gut reacts as though our self-image is real.

• Spiritual: The solar plexus (third chakra) is the center of personal power and self-worth.

Conclusion: Time for a New Story

• Look at the pain. The time has come to look honestly at the painful areas of your life. Really feel what they’re showing you: what doesn’t match what you truly desire.

• Notice the trigger.Ask yourself: What keeps getting activated when situations come up? What keeps confirming your vulnerability, or your old story of “not enough”?

• Understand the pattern.How you know yourself is shaped by the life you keep experiencing. What you repeat, you become.

• Let 2027 be your turning point.As a new year begins, it invites us to bring our thoughts back into balance and choose what we repeat.

  Create a new blueprint.Write a new story and repeat it until it becomes:

a new direction for your mind

new positive emotions as your state of being

a new identity: a powerful creator, not a victim

Marilyn Holzman (Universal Coordinator)